Commenting On an Event After the Fact Is Just Wrong

by Trevor Seigler

In the wake of Clemson’s recent “MLK Party” controversy, it seems like every major news outlet is devoting time to the event and its ramifications for the university in the eyes of the public nationwide. Which is all well and good, I suppose. But I prefer to wait until none of the facts are in.

What I mean is, let’s be honest: you could have seen this coming a mile away. We are in the South, right? And it’s fair to say that “racial tolerance” and “Southern history” have not been two phrases used in conjunction with one another, except to point out how they don’t tend to agree. What with slavery, the Civil Rights movement, and only one black guy on Hee-Haw during its quarter-century run, no one should be surprised.

In fact, I’m wondering if we’re all just a little too surprised…conveniently upset, I think. And so this endless parade of apologies from the partygoers, President Barker, the Tiger, the Observer, the Cooper Library, Hardin Hall, Sikes Financial Aid offices, and just about every organization on campus is too little, too late.

So, in anticipation of the next scandal to rock the placid waves of the reflecting pool (which will probably happen the next time someone gets an idea that might be “funny”), I’m going to jump the gun and denounce it. Why? Because I like to judge prematurely (some ex-girlfriends may insist that that’s not the only thing I do “prematurely”, but their sources can’t be verified).

I am going to come down strongly right now on whoever it is that will be responsible for whatever ails the university in the eyes of the public, down the road. It’s not like I have a crystal ball and can predict what might ruffle the feathers of one or another group on campus. But I have a strong feeling that Herschel the Satellite Dish Installer (the Jewish answer to Larry the Cable Guy) could be the focus of it when he comes to CU in the spring.

We’re all familiar with the way in which media pundits pounce on a story once it’s broken, and proceed to run around with it until it’s exhausted all possible angles and made Nancy Grace a household name in the process. Let’s be smarter than that, Clemson. Sure, we’ve got a huge scandal on our hands now, but if we overreact to this one currently where will we get the outrage for one in the distant future? Let’s use that famous Clemson know-how to stem the tide of the onrushing anger unleashed on our hallowed halls. Or at least pawn it off onto the Clemson Players, because I still have nightmares from the production of Burial at Thebes which was hijacked by the Dance majors. Since when is Greek tragedy light on its feet?

Some may argue that I’m being irrational, that I’m going to go ahead and pass judgment before anything has even happened yet. Some might even question my level of intelligence or perceived sanity. To all of these voices in my head, I say simply this: J’accuse moi, et toi? I also realize that I have no grasp of French (for all I know, I could have just said “I have a lovely piranha farm, would you like a pancake and my baby?”), but I do have a grasp on what the major fault of the media has been in reporting stories over the years: doing so after the fact. And if arguing against that is insane, well…I’ll see you on the road to the funny farm.