Mix Tape Misery

It’s February, and that means one thing: Valentine’s Day. A week removed and still with all the attendant miserable-because-I’m-still-single feelings? Don’t fret, my friends. Misery loves company, and misery is also a great topic for music. So, with that in mind, let me try to bring you some sympathetic muses like Morrissey, Joy Division, and… Cat Stevens? Yes, even Cat Stevens.

My criteria for the following list is totally subjective and unique to me. Feel free to make your own “mix-tape misery”, but this is the soundtrack I tune into on my least-favorite holiday ever (and of course, there are fourteen selections. Any more, or less, would just be uncivilized).

1) Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t Have). What better way to start off a “misery loves company” mix than with this uncomplicated ditty? It seems appropriate, as more often than not that’s the situation you might find yourself in. Plus, it’s a little more uptempo than a lot of the following tunes…
2) Stevie Wonder - Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday. In a gem from his late Sixties period, Stevie lets it all hang out vocally. Perfect for the recently dumped.
3) Weezer - This Is Such A Pity. There are so many good Weezer songs about heartbreak, I just thought I’d go with the most recent example. Of course, “Across the Sea” from Pinkerton is a suitable replacement if you feel so inclined.
4) The Smiths - I Know It’s Over. You can’t have a list about how much love sucks without including Morrissey in his creative high point.
5) Elvis Costello - Party Girl. Because “Alison” would be too obvious (plus, this is a great underrated gem from the Armed Forces album). For sheer heartbreak overload, of course, you can’t beat Blood and Chocolate for the full EC experience.
6) Ray Charles - You Don’t Know Me. Old-school heartbreak from the master of the craft.
7) Echo and The Bunnymen - A Promise. For when you’re feeling really petulant about it…
8) Flying Burrito Brothers - Hot Burrito #1. Don’t let the title fool you, this is Gram Parsons’ most aching performance on record and a great torch song just begging to be covered.
9) The Band - It Makes No Difference. A bit risky, following one country-rock ballad with another. I’m feeling lucky with the back-to-back roadhouse vibe here.
10) Travis - Driftwood. A nice little ditty that segues into…
11) Cat Stevens - Here Comes My Baby. Because you’re torn up about breaking up, of course, but not *that* torn up.
12) Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart. No, wait, you ARE that torn up about it. Miserable, in fact.
13) Bob Dylan - Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright. Because it’s not your fault they don’t appreciate you.
14) Belle and Sebastian - Lazy Line Painter Jane. Okay, I own up: you can’t have a list completely devoted to how much love sucks. You have to have a little light at the end of the tunnel, and nothing picks me up more than this unexpected romp from a band known more for acoustic power than power ballads. Cheer up, kid, there’s always tomorrow…

And with that, another year to merry f-ing Valentines Day. Just remember: there’s nothing merry about it.