Sodomy

Sodomy. It is a beautiful example of how our views of sex are a bit, well, twisted. Sodomy is frequently used as a derisive term, most often against gays, but also in the context of someone being deviant or one person establishing dominance over another. What do you think when you hear the word? For most, it has a ring that falls somewhere between vaguely to exceptionally negative.

The legal definition of sodomy is a nebulous thing. Usually it means anal sex, but it can refer to other non-procreative activities. All the laws which criminalized specific sex acts are lumped together under the term “sodomy laws.” These ban a range of behaviors judged to be deviant by lawmakers. Some states have prohibited acts between same-sex partners. Others, South Carolina included, banned these acts for everyone. The sodomy laws were comprehensively overturned by the Supreme Court in 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas.

Though the legal definition is vague, the etymology of sodomy is downright famous. The word comes from Sodom, the ill-fated biblical city. By some interpretations, God destroyed Sodom because of homosexuality, but by others, because of inhospitable, selfish and generally depraved behavior. Unfortunately, the association of Sodom and homosexuality gave us our word for anal sex and today is often cited as an excuse for gay-bashing and condemnation of private acts between consenting adults. Who hasn’t heard a televangelist shout that God will throw the sodomites into the fires of hell?

And who are these sodomites? From the most recent statistics posted by the CDC, 35% of women and 40% of men between the ages of 15 and 44 in America have had anal sex.

As with any sex act, the primary reason people do it is because they find it pleasurable. The anus has many nerve receptors. Additionally, women can enjoy the stimulation along the wall between the rectum and the vagina, and men can enjoy prostate stimulation. The idea that women only have anal sex to please men is wrong, as is the idea that men who enjoy anal stimulation must be gay. Anyone who desires can enjoy anal stimulation through the use of a finger or foreign object designed for that purpose. Outside of prisons, dominance and submission come into play in anal sex no more than with any other sex act. Knowing that someone enjoys such behavior tells you nothing about his or her sexual “role,” and, in general, does not concern you unless you share a bed.

If you and your partner are interested in trying anal sex, I strongly suggest you do some background reading. As with most things, it is nothing like porn. The sphincter muscles (the ones you use to control defecation) are very strong, and must be relaxed before anything can be inserted into the rectum without causing pain. The rectum does not naturally lubricate with arousal as with a vagina, so adding lubrication is important. Condoms should always be used with anal sex. The risk of spreading an STD is very high, but, for even monogamous couples, semen does not belong in the rectum, where it is easily absorbed by the body, and human excretion does not belong in the urethra.

If you and your partner would sooner go skinny-dipping in the vats at your local wastewater treatment facility than try anal sex, that is okay too. I hope, however, that you will refrain from demonizing a sexual act enjoyed by millions of consenting couples.